Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
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