it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
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