Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
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All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
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I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
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