he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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