You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
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