I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Randomize