We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
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The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
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Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
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