There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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