what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
Randomize