Joe is yelling at the trees again.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
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Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
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I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
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