Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
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