Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
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I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
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I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
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