I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
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