i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
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