Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
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She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
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Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
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