Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
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im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
So vagazzling was a success
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
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