So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
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Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
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Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
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