Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
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