I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
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