dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
I need a beard to bite.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
You were trust falling into bushes
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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