How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
The power of my boobs compel you
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
Randomize