Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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