Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
North Korea, Best Korea!
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
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