Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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