I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
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I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
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Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
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