I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
I queefed so loud it echoed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
He literally asked permission to hit on me
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