I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
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