I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
Everything about him screamed your future.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
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