I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
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