This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
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