Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
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