Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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