We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
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