She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
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Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
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