So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
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