Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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