i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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