like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
As shirtless as possible
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
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