Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Randomize