He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
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