I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
Randomize