oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
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