I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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