So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Randomize