i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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