Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he told me I talked like a deaf person
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
Randomize