This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize