Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
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