What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
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I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
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I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
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