she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
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at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
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She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
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